one fights sexuality, another anger and depression......it is weird life is a constant fight. when will i ever have peace and no battle. or like david i am to have all battles and solomon will have peace. is that how things ought to be. i guess it is more sacrifice that is called for.
one thing is true the less you demand, the more you get dealt with all kinds of crazy stuff. the more you demand things get done the way exactly as you envision. one said i will not stay in a house without a terrace, yes she was given a house with a terrace whether it was rented or own. another said, i will not do this or that and all things get done in their ideas, may be others sulk a bit but who cares.
another said i will have my son study here and daughter study here and the house will be through before children go to college all done. the fourth little pig stayed at home looking out for everyone else's conveniences and got fooled / robbed.
ended up with a body that is rotting by the day a mind that is constantly fighting depressing thoughts. why i have no clue.
sometimes it really is irritating --one wants some photos, and i am willing to make it a cd and give it, but he just wants to pay for the cd and not bring me another cd. sorry , gone are the days that i gave all i have and then ran around looking for things when i need them the most. if i had a cd with me last sunday, i could have gotten away from getting wet in the rain.
my legs hurt a lot if i get wet in the rain. but who knows? who cares? every one has their platter full and they are happy. no body wants to know how it got to be full. i guess the fault is mine because i always made it look so easy and i guess i am paying for it for now.
money gets eaten away as though some moth is eating it. don't know what to do about it. let me see. i need to be able to have money not just for myself but to have enough to give away when i need to.
want to buy something in diamond for my mother. don't know if i can pull it off this time. but i certainly want to do it. it is not that she needs it. but i don't like the fact that she is taken for granted. she deserves better than that.
God give me wisdom how to find the money and grace to buy it for her.
this is random crankiness going on.
pradeepa was my character a long time ago. but i recently met pradeepa in real life. now that i have met one with the same name, i better tell her about my character before i use it again.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Monday, September 17, 2007
life goes on.
life goes on....
like the malayali sings in his song.
rains rains and more rains is the order of the day rather nights these days. the days are more or less okay.i need to keep myself alert so that the terrace doesn't get waterlogged.
the wall is letting in water into the front room again.
i guess i am destined to deal with leakages whether it is from the wall or from the roof or from the terrace it really doesn't matter.
my leg is beginning to give trouble again. well, i am just going to let all things be and go on, i am sick of trying and sacrificing and everything else.
like the malayali sings in his song.
rains rains and more rains is the order of the day rather nights these days. the days are more or less okay.i need to keep myself alert so that the terrace doesn't get waterlogged.
the wall is letting in water into the front room again.
i guess i am destined to deal with leakages whether it is from the wall or from the roof or from the terrace it really doesn't matter.
my leg is beginning to give trouble again. well, i am just going to let all things be and go on, i am sick of trying and sacrificing and everything else.
Monday, September 10, 2007
time and again
time has an uncanny way of going extremely fast when one has lots of things to do and going extra slow when one has nothing to do. ....
the last post was in july and august did a quick march with the kids having exams , the work party, the trip to blore. the trip went double fast with me being sick too.
but it was wonderful to meet my friends from school whom i haven't met in 25 years. yet it felt as though it was just a few days since we last met.
dhian - he is such a sweetheart, did all the calling up different ones and co ordinating so that maximum number can participate. it was a privilege to be in this selfless soul's company.
sanjay- a home open always for his friends. spick and span-put me to shame. been reminded of him many times since i got home. a taller version of the one i remember from school. helicopter pilot- great cook-super fantastic with kids.
venka and pradeepa- a lovely couple have their son in lawrence, so not just ols but olparents too. i remember how great we felt seeing sudha's dad's name on those chairs in large hall. rithesh must be really proud to be an ol's son.
gautam-bunny- how does he remain just exactly as he was in school is a mystery to me. it was great to meet him after all these years.
gweny- my dear little friend with the big name gwendolyn patricia wilson, still is as small as she was in school. kavya and kajol were the entertainers of the evening. cute kids. Nani too was good to get to know.
only wish i hadn't fallen sick so i could have enjoyed the company.
it would have been wonderful to have rintu, nimmy and badam too with us. wonder if there are any more around in bangalore.
the feast was a a great occassion too. so many friends travelled from so many places just to be there to honour avy at his fiftieth birthday. it was a humbling experience.
oaky time for me to go and pick up danie from tuition. officially i am off work at 5.15 but my work doesn't end i guess till all are in bed. :)
the last post was in july and august did a quick march with the kids having exams , the work party, the trip to blore. the trip went double fast with me being sick too.
but it was wonderful to meet my friends from school whom i haven't met in 25 years. yet it felt as though it was just a few days since we last met.
dhian - he is such a sweetheart, did all the calling up different ones and co ordinating so that maximum number can participate. it was a privilege to be in this selfless soul's company.
sanjay- a home open always for his friends. spick and span-put me to shame. been reminded of him many times since i got home. a taller version of the one i remember from school. helicopter pilot- great cook-super fantastic with kids.
venka and pradeepa- a lovely couple have their son in lawrence, so not just ols but olparents too. i remember how great we felt seeing sudha's dad's name on those chairs in large hall. rithesh must be really proud to be an ol's son.
gautam-bunny- how does he remain just exactly as he was in school is a mystery to me. it was great to meet him after all these years.
gweny- my dear little friend with the big name gwendolyn patricia wilson, still is as small as she was in school. kavya and kajol were the entertainers of the evening. cute kids. Nani too was good to get to know.
only wish i hadn't fallen sick so i could have enjoyed the company.
it would have been wonderful to have rintu, nimmy and badam too with us. wonder if there are any more around in bangalore.
the feast was a a great occassion too. so many friends travelled from so many places just to be there to honour avy at his fiftieth birthday. it was a humbling experience.
oaky time for me to go and pick up danie from tuition. officially i am off work at 5.15 but my work doesn't end i guess till all are in bed. :)
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