changes.

well, well, since the last time there have been many things that have changed.
my mother is diagnosed with breast cancer and the surgery has been done. waiting for more test results.
what life has in store, none of us know. tomorrow is not in our hands, yet we must be ready for what comes.
there is only one thing i pray that whatever be the prognosis, that she should not suffer .i don't think i have the courage to take it if she is suffering. i was tempted to pray for another fifteen years for her just like hizkiah, but only if she will be happy and not be suffering.
had a day with mom, it was good to be just there, not that i had anything much to do there.
came back and out i went on the scooter and in seconds i was on the ground with my face down.
trying to save myself from hitting a bike that was coming in from the bylane.
bruises, bleeding teeth dislocated. entire set of about five teeth have gone in by a bit. i can feel the difference in arrangement of teeth.
i guess all of them will soon be dead teeth and will have to be pulled out.
very interesting, the prospect of having all my teeth pulled out and having dentures
he had an interesting perspective on it. hehehe.
wonder what kind of effect it will have on life as a whole. with all that has gone past, i guess i have to just take life as it comes. no expectations.

was looking forward to him coming home this weekend. but with this swollen face i don't want to think of it now.
i need him, much more than i care to admit, just that i pretend and try to make myself believe all is fine and dandy

i want the years that the locusts have eaten away. i dont want to let go or surrender.
thus says the lord in joel 2.

23 Be glad, O people of Zion,
rejoice in the LORD your God,
for he has given you
the autumn rains in righteousness. ^[e]
He sends you abundant showers,
both autumn and spring rains, as before.

24 The threshing floors will be filled with grain;
the vats will overflow with new wine and oil.

25 "I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten—
the great locust and the young locust,
the other locusts and the locust swarm ^[f]—
my great army that I sent among you.

26 You will have plenty to eat, until you are full,
and you will praise the name of the LORD your God,
who has worked wonders for you;
never again will my people be shamed.

water under the bridge.

yes much water has flown under the bridge since the last post. .. life has taken a sharp turn. for better or for worse? i would like to think for the better. have been able to use it to see into the past where ideas were thrust upon me and made me think i was crazy. yippppeeeee, i was right all along, inspite of a thousand denials. now finally it has come out. yes, one day all truth will come out.
i believe in God almighty and he will help me through all things .
thank you my friends both A s that is what you are , super grade friends.
nothing can compare to what you have been to me.and if ever you need a friend, i hope to be there for you, whatever be the situation.
i want to step aside from your lives and now seems to be the best time for that. tomorrow what comes i will gladly take, but don't want to have any part in it for now. i hope i can keep it that way.
my dear little girl has been made to grow up quickly. too quickly with the events of the past weeks. but it is okay, God is with her and she has learnt well to hold fast, as far as i know. just as i had you , my friends, i hope she has someone .Ev, thanks for all the help you been, without you it would have been difficult.

eyes are drooping. thanks to almost a whole night of talking to you,my friend, trying to analyse, understand, tear apart to rebuild, it was well worth it. i will miss it all when you are gone.
sleep beckons. gotta go.